Newspaper Thief is the 14th episode of The Looney Tunes Show.
Reluctantly, Daffy agrees to apologize to his neighbors about the awful things he's done on the holidays, until he realizes his daily newspaper, which he fashions to make a useless parade float of himself, has gone missing. All the neighbors Daffy has wronged are now suspects in his ridiculous search for his missing newspaper. Daffy goes to Porky for advice. Porky suggests that he should trap them at the dinner party that Bugs was holding, which was where Daffy was supposed to apologized. Daffy sets a trap for the suspects at the dinner party, who are Yosemite Sam, Granny, Gossamer and Witch Lezah. Daffy performs many tricks so that he can find the bandit, but all of the guests are innocent. The search ends when Daffy remembers that he forgot to renew his subscription. A greatly exhasperated Bugs promtly gives Daffy a good whack to the head as punishment for his stupidity, and a carrot pie plummets onto his head from the ceiling.
|Jeff Bergman||Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck|
|Bob Bergen||Porky Pig|
|Maurice LaMarche||Yosemite Sam|
|Roz Ryan||Witch Lezah|
|Jim Cummings||Tasmanian Devil|
|Damon Jones||Singing Voice|
- Daffy: Let's see what's for breakfast. Hmm? What have we here? (Daffy puts his finger into the pie and tastes it) Ergh! (closes fridge) Does he have to put carrots in everything!
Bugs: What are you doing?
Daffy: Arghhh! (throws pie into the ceiling)
Bugs: Nyah, that wasn't an overreaction.
- Bugs: You know that pie was for tonight's dinner party.
Daffy: What dinner party?
Bugs: You're kidding.
Bugs: Ugh... The dinner party we having so you can apology to all of our neighbors.
Daffy: Why do I have to apology for?
Bugs: How about for what you did on the Fourth of July.
- Granny: Oh, ho, ho. Hello.
Daffy: Knock off the pleasuries, grandma! I know you stole my newspaper.
Bugs: I ask you to forgive my friend, but we been doing a lot of that at the dinner party. Which, by the way. It's at 8 o'clock. See you then.
(Walks past Daffy)
Daffy: (Whispers) I know you stole my newspaper.
Granny: Your shoe-shaper?
Daffy: (Whispering continues) My newspaper.
Granny: What is a shoe-shaper?
(Daffy gets confused so he slaps his forehead)
- Yosemite Sam: What do you want, rabbit?
Bugs: Just want to remind you about tonight's dinner party.
Yosemite Sam: You mean the "let's all forget about the horrible things Daffy Duck has done party?" Yeah, I'll be there...Unless I get a better offer.
Daffy: I've got an offer for you; give me back my paper!
Yosemite Sam: Yosemite Sam is a lot of things, a liar, a cheater, a false witness, a sore loser, a bad friend, a shaded businessman, a blamer, a flimflamer, a horn swaggler, I'm cheap and I steals things, but I am no thief! Now, good day, sirs! (Slams door then opens it agian.) What time's dinner?
Bugs: 8:00. Sharp.
(Sam slams the door again.)
- Bugs: Go home!
(Bugs still waits for Daffy to walk home.)
Daffy: I'm going.
(As Daffy pretends to walk back home, Bugs still watches him go home.)
Bugs: I wanna watch you go home.
Daffy: (Chuckles) You have some serious trust issues. You should get help man.
- Daffy: I'm sneaking through a witch's backyard, looking for a newspaper.....what am I doing!?
- Bugs: So, I'll see you at 8. I'll be making carrot pie.
Witch Lezah: Pie? Don't you mean carrot cake?
(Daffy, upon seeing a monster, jams on it, crashing into Witch Lezah's car in the process)
Witch Lezah: Mmm-mmm-mmm! That duck's apology list is getting LONG!
- Porky: W-W-Why don't you just buy another newspaper, Daffy?
- Witch Lezah: Do you want me to be a 3? (points at Granny)
Daffy: Yes, thank you. Finally, someone is cooperating. (Inhales then exhales) Now, who has a 3?
(Sam, Gossamer, Witch Lezah and Granny reveal they have a 3 on their plates and Daffy gasps)
Granny: I'm hungry. Can we eat first and then play the game?
Daffy: It's not a game. It's a trap! An elaborate trap design to extract a confession from one of you dirty thieves!And then we have a apology, all right. But the apologies are gonna be to me! Now one of you stole my newspaper. Confess!
(Sam, Gossamer, Witch Lezah and Granny are in shock and gasp after a serious apology.)
Bugs: Really? You're really going there?
Daffy: Yeah. I'm going there.
Granny: Where is he going?
Bugs: Because if you're go there. I'll will go there. And you do not want to be there when I get there. Because when I get there, I will be so there that you were wish you were stay right here.
Daffy: Me? What about you? You don't care about your neighbor. You just scared one of them gonna sue you.
(Sam, Gossamer, Witch Lezah and Granny are not too surprised to see that.)
Bugs: (Chuckles) You're crazy.
Daffy: I'm crazy? You're the one who made carrot pie. I mean carrot pie?! Ever heard of carrot cake? That's an actual dessert made with carrots. And did you make it? No. You made carrot pie. A thing no one eats!
- Witch Lezah: (points at Daffy) You're the biggest monster in this neighborhood!
Bugs: That's saying a lot. (points at Gossamer) He's a monster.
- Granny: I like him! (Sam, Lezah, Gossamer, and Bugs gasp)
- Daffy: I have something I'd like to say.....Which one of you stole my newspaper?!
(Bugs, in exhaustion, slams the carrot pie into Daffy's face)
Yosemite Sam: I'll drink to that!
- Bugs: No newspaper, huh?
Daffy: Ha! Fummeled by his own creation.
- Granny: (after the credits, she opens the WB shield-shaped door) Is this the bathroom?
Daffy: (offscreen) NO! GO HOME!!
- This episode became available for download seventeen days before its air date.
- When Bugs asks Daffy if he did his part of the party preparation, the clock in the background behind Daffy shows 2:00. It was dark outside at the time.