Newspaper Thief is the 14th episode of The Looney Tunes Show.
One morning, Daffy is looking through the fridge for something to eat, and finds some carrot pie. He turns around to find Bugs right behind him, and accidentally throws the pie on the ceiling in surprise. Bugs tells him that the pie was for tonight’s dinner party: the “Let's All Forget About the Bad Things Daffy Duck Has Done” dinner party (including setting houses on fire with fireworks on the Fourth of July and letting a bunch of rats loose on Columbus Day). Bugs then says that if he doesn’t formally apologize to the neighbors, they might file a lawsuit against the house, which belongs to Bugs. Daffy tells him to have a little faith in their neighbors, agrees to apologize, gets his coffee and goes to get his newspaper. However, the newspaper is missing. Daffy, in shock, drops his coffee on the porch, believing it to be stolen. Bugs comes outside and slaps Daffy awake, asking what happened. Daffy takes Bugs' coffee to demonstrate what had happened, only to break his mug as well. Daffy tells Bugs that one of their neighbors is actually a thief; however, Bugs ignores him, saying that he just told him a minute ago to have faith in them.
The two then go Granny’s house to invite her to the dinner party. Granny answers the door, but Daffy immediately starts accusing her of stealing his paper, before Bugs tells her when the dinner party is and leaves. Daffy whispers to her, “I know you stole my newspaper,” to which she replies, “What is a shoeshaper?”
The two then go to Yosemite's to invite him as well. However, Daffy once again is too hasty to accuse, telling Sam to give back his paper. Yosemite admits that he is a lot of things, including a bad sport, a cheater, and a liar, but is under no circumstances a thief, before slamming the door in their faces.
Before going to Witch Lezah's house, Bugs refuses to move on until Daffy goes up to their own house, so he can’t start accusing her as well. But when Bugs walks down the street, Daffy secretly goes into her backyard, in hopes of finding the newspaper. However, he sees a giant eye staring at him through one of the windows, screams, gets in his car, and crashes into Witch Lezah’s minivan.
Later, Daffy asks Porky how to find the newspaper thief. Porky tells him that 9/10 mystery novels end the same way; with all the suspects under the same roof. He then suggests that at the dinner party, Daffy should set a trap to find out who the thief is.
That night, Bugs makes another carrot pie, while Daffy lets in the neighbors, laughing maniacally. After they sit down, Bugs thanks them for coming and goes to prepare the food. Daffy hides in the closet, and talks to the guests through a connected microphone in the table's centerpiece. He explains that one of them is “a thief!”, followed by thundering sound effects. He tells them each to pick up their plate. Witch Lezah tells the microphone that her son doesn’t have a plate. Daffy gets out of the closet to fetch Gossamer a plate, ruining the effect. Once back in the closet, he tells everyone that there is s number on the back of each plate. However, Yosemite tells him that there aren’t any numbers, so Daffy quickly comes back out of the closet to write numbers on them. Once back in the closet, he reveals that the newspaper thief is the one with the plate which has the number 5 on it. But his plan goes wrong, when Yosemite, Granny and Witch Lezah all have the number 5. He rushes back to the table, erasing Yosemite's number, and replacing it with a 3. Gossamer claims that he is the one who’s supposed to have a 3 on his plate. Daffy hears Bugs coming back, so he sits down, pretending to be having a great time with the neighbors. Bugs asks how everyone is doing. Granny tells him that “the voice” is making them do several fun things, but Daffy makes the cuckoo sign to Bugs, then tells him that the pie is burning. With Bugs gone again, Daffy tells Witch Lezah and Granny to switch plates. When, they still have the same numbers, he erases Granny’s number and replaces it with a 3. Witch Lezah offers to have her plate have a 3 on it as well, to which Daffy accepts. He then asks who has the number 3: But he messed up once again, since everyone has a 3. Daffy, frustrated, then demands that the thief confess to stealing the newspaper. Bugs then tells Daffy that he’s crazy, but Daffy reveals to the neighbors that Bugs doesn’t care about apologizing to them, and that he just doesn’t want to be sued. Witch Lezah then scolds Daffy, telling him never to accuse his neighbors of anything without any evidence, especially when it is about something as stupid as a newspaper. She then asks him why he doesn’t just read the internet instead, but he screams that he doesn’t actually read the newspaper, he uses it to add on to his newspaper parade float. Witch Lezah then says that she’s not leaving until he apologizes for everything he’s done. But Daffy is so full of himself that he can’t even say it, instead saying, “I’m soggy”. Everyone then starts yelling at Daffy, until Granny whistles, silencing them. She then says that she likes him. Granny explains that her life in the neighborhood was very boring until Daffy came, and that she hasn’t had this much fun in years. The other neighbors then agree with her, saying that he has made the holidays very memorable. They even laugh together with Daffy. Bugs asks if anyone wants to sue him, but Witch Lezah tells him to have a little faith in his neighbors, which Daffy had said earlier. Daffy then proposes a toast, which looks like he’s about to apologize. But he just demands to know who stole his newspaper again. Bugs calmly splats the carrot pie in his face, to which the neighbors laugh and begin to eat.
The next day, Daffy goes through mail and discovers that his newspaper was never stolen, and that he just forgot to renew the subscription. Bugs stands there, in disbelief, just as the pie from yesterday falls from the ceiling onto his head.
|Jeff Bergman||Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck|
|Bob Bergen||Porky Pig|
|Maurice LaMarche||Yosemite Sam|
|Roz Ryan||Witch Lezah|
|Jim Cummings||Tasmanian Devil|
|Damon Jones||Singing Voice|
- Daffy: Let's see what's for breakfast. Hmm? What have we here? (Daffy puts his finger into the pie and tastes it) Ergh! (closes fridge) Does he have to put carrots in everything!
Bugs: What are you doing?
Daffy: Arghhh! (throws pie into the ceiling)
Bugs: Nyah, that wasn't an overreaction.
- Bugs: You know that pie was for tonight's dinner party.
Daffy: What dinner party?
Bugs: You're kidding.
Bugs: Ugh... The dinner party we having so you can apology to all of our neighbors.
Daffy: Why do I have to apology for?
Bugs: How about for what you did on the Fourth of July.
- Granny: Oh, ho, ho. Hello.
Daffy: Knock off the pleasuries, grandma! I know you stole my newspaper.
Bugs: I ask you to forgive my friend, but we been doing a lot of that at the dinner party. Which, by the way. It's at 8 o'clock. See you then.
(Walks past Daffy)
Daffy: (Whispers) I know you stole my newspaper.
Granny: Your shoe-shaper?
Daffy: (Whispering continues) My newspaper.
Granny: What is a shoe-shaper?
(Daffy gets confused so he slaps his forehead)
- Yosemite Sam: What do you want, rabbit?
Bugs: Just want to remind you about tonight's dinner party.
Yosemite Sam: You mean the "let's all forget about the horrible things Daffy Duck has done party?" Yeah, I'll be there...Unless I get a better offer.
Daffy: I've got an offer for you; give me back my paper!
Yosemite Sam: Yosemite Sam is a lot of things, a liar, a cheater, a false witness, a sore loser, a bad friend, a shaded businessman, a blamer, a flimflamer, a horn swaggler, I'm cheap and I steals things, but I am no thief! Now, good day, sirs! (Slams door then opens it agian.) What time's dinner?
Bugs: 8:00. Sharp.
(Sam slams the door again.)
- Bugs: Go home!
(Bugs still waits for Daffy to walk home.)
Daffy: I'm going.
(As Daffy pretends to walk back home, Bugs still watches him go home.)
Bugs: I wanna watch you go home.
Daffy: (Chuckles) You have some serious trust issues. You should get help man.
- Daffy: I'm sneaking through a witch's backyard, looking for a newspaper.....what am I doing!?
- Bugs: So, I'll see you at 8. I'll be making carrot pie.
Witch Lezah: Pie? Don't you mean carrot cake?
(Daffy, upon seeing a monster, jams on it, crashing into Witch Lezah's car in the process)
Witch Lezah: Mmm-mmm-mmm! That duck's apology list is getting LONG!
- Porky: W-W-Why don't you just buy another newspaper, Daffy?
- Witch Lezah: Do you want me to be a 3? (points at Granny)
Daffy: Yes, thank you. Finally, someone is cooperating. (Inhales then exhales) Now, who has a 3?
(Sam, Gossamer, Witch Lezah and Granny reveal they have a 3 on their plates and Daffy gasps)
Granny: I'm hungry. Can we eat first and then play the game?
Daffy: It's not a game. It's a trap! An elaborate trap design to extract a confession from one of you dirty thieves!And then we have a apology, all right. But the apologies are gonna be to me! Now one of you stole my newspaper. Confess!
(Sam, Gossamer, Witch Lezah and Granny are in shock and gasp after a serious apology.)
Bugs: Really? You're really going there?
Daffy: Yeah. I'm going there.
Granny: Where is he going?
Bugs: Because if you're go there. I'll will go there. And you do not want to be there when I get there. Because when I get there, I will be so there that you were wish you were stay right here.
Daffy: Me? What about you? You don't care about your neighbor. You just scared one of them gonna sue you.
(Sam, Gossamer, Witch Lezah and Granny are not too surprised to see that.)
Bugs: (Chuckles) You're crazy.
Daffy: I'm crazy? You're the one who made carrot pie. I mean carrot pie?! Ever heard of carrot cake? That's an actual dessert made with carrots. And did you make it? No. You made carrot pie. A thing no one eats!
- Witch Lezah: (points at Daffy) You're the biggest monster in this neighborhood!
Bugs: That's saying a lot. (points at Gossamer) He's a monster.
- Granny: I like him! (Sam, Lezah, Gossamer, and Bugs gasp)
- Daffy: I have something I'd like to say.....Which one of you stole my newspaper?!
(Bugs, in exhaustion, slams the carrot pie into Daffy's face)
Yosemite Sam: I'll drink to that!
- Bugs: No newspaper, huh?
Daffy: Ha! Fummeled by his own creation.
- Granny: (after the credits, she opens the WB shield-shaped door) Is this the bathroom?
Daffy: (offscreen) NO! GO HOME!!
- This episode became available for download seventeen days before its air date.
- When Bugs asks Daffy if he did his part of the party preparation, the clock in the background behind Daffy shows 2:00. It was dark outside at the time.